And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

I saw that someone had posted the 76 Things Banned in Leviticus, and wanted to see how I scored.

(If you want to share yours in the comments, I'll happily approve them.)

• 3.  Eating fat (3:17) - BACON: it's worth hell.
• 4.  Eating blood (3:17) - did this one in England; not worth hell, unless I meet a Klingon
• 6.  Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve been told about (5:1) - that would be hearsay, and it is inadmissable
• 7.  Touching an unclean animal (5:2) - how the hell do I wash my dog??
• 8.  Carelessly making an oath (5:4) - I promise not to do that.  D'OH!
• 11.  Bringing unauthorised fire before God (10:1) - have you seen our firepit?
• 12.  Letting your hair become unkempt (10:6) - submitted by the Barber's Union of Judea (not to be confused with the Judean Barber's Union - they're splitters)
• 13.  Tearing your clothes (10:6) - I am clumsy.
• 14.  Drinking alcohol in holy places (10:9) - LOL, Catholics!
• 15.  Eating an animal which doesn’t both chew cud and has a divided hoof (11:4-7) - Again -Bacon is worth Hell.  God *really* needs to set the bar a little lower.
• 16.   Touching the carcass of any of the above (11:8) - Oink.
• 17.   Eating – or touching the carcass of – any seafood without fins or scales (11:10-12) - Sushi was NOT worth Hell.
• 20.  Eating any animal which walks on all four and has paws (11:27) - LOL, Del Taco
• 36.  Having sex with a woman during her period (18:19) - No comment; I'm not incriminating anyone else.
• 38.  Giving your children to be sacrificed to Molek (18:21) - ...but I took it back.  Does Molek do "take-backs"?
• 41.  Making idols or “metal gods” (19:4) - My birthday present on my 5th birthday: C-3PO action figure.
• 45.  Lying (19:11) - I always do this.  #seewhatIdidthere
• 46.  Swearing falsely on God’s name (19:12)
• 50.  Perverting justice, showing partiality to either the poor or the rich (19:15) - Uh-oh - between the Tea Party and OWS, we're ALL guilty of this one.
• 51.  Spreading slander (19:16) - I forwarded a FoxNews link once.
• 52.  Doing anything to endanger a neighbour’s life (19:16) - I drive a car.  Duh.
• 53.  Seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (19:18) - You won't see it coming, either, you bastard.
• 54.  Mixing fabrics in clothing (19:19) - With my fashion sense?  Yeah, I've probably done this.
• 55.  Cross-breeding animals (19:19) - Does singing "Skullcrusher Mountain" count?  "I made this half-pony/half-monkey monster to please you..."
• 56.  Planting different seeds in the same field (19:19) - It shouldn't count if you forget to water them and they die.
• 59.  Practising divination or seeking omens (tut, tut astrology) (19:26) LOL, "Left Behind" series
• 60.  Trimming your beard (19:27) - Well, Duh.
• 61.  Cutting your hair at the sides (19:27)
• 62.  Getting tattoos (19:28) - Oh, wait - I thought this said "tacos."  Kater is the tattooed one.
• 64.  Turning to mediums or spiritualists (19:31) - Madame Brent read my tarot once.
• 65.  Not standing in the presence of the elderly (19:32) - The whole TIME?  
• 66.  Mistreating foreigners – “the foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born”  (19:33-34) - I am mean to Koreans.
• 67.  Using dishonest weights and scales (19:35-36) - Oh, like YOUR bathroom is a house of honesty!
• 68.  Cursing your father or mother (punishable by death) (20:9) - I swear to God it was just an Impedimenta (oops... #46 again.)
• 70.  Entering a place where there’s a dead body as a priest (21:11) - Wait, now - is the priest playing a dead body, like in the musical version of "Weekend at Bernies" starring Father Guido Sarducci? Or is the dead body dressed as a priest?  Or am I the dead priest?  Well, she looked 18...
• 72.  Working on the Sabbath (23:3) - God don't pay Sunday shift differential.
• 73.  Blasphemy (punishable by stoning to death) (24:14) - Gleefully - I suspect this post alone counts.  And if the stones start flying, that will only make me do it more loudly and often.
• 74.  Inflicting an injury; killing someone else’s animal; killing a person must be punished in kind (24:17-22) - LOL, turning the other cheek!

So I scored... 35 (or did I violate #67 again?).  I'd try to up that, but there are a lot of non-existent and existing people I don't want to fuck on that list.  I'll have to be content with low-30's grade evil.  With a small "e"...